Massage - the sensual caress

While men need to see in order to get aroused, women prefer the emotions given by the touch, taste and smell. But it's not always true that men are interested more in the intercourse than in all preceding aspects, such as caresses, kisses and whispers. The emancipation of women resulted in a great need of warmth, intimacy and generosity of both partners. Men and women now have a lot to give, and this results in changing their own behavior starting with the preliminaries, and taking their time in trusting the partner, knowing his/her needs and desires.

Speeches are fine at a table or in a debate, but in bed rather than speaking too much it is recommended to "speak" the language of gestures, being guided by instincts and personal sensitiveness, but especially by the desire to communicate, perfectly done by our bodies and better than words.

Learning to become an expert in massage starts by learning to use the hands (and even mouth) to transmit your desire of loving and being loved. It's not difficult. Once you are not shy anymore to show yourself nude, you should relax, breathe deeply and slowly, relaxing all muscles. Abandon yourself with courage, without thinking to what will happen afterwards, be it consequences or the possibility of not behaving properly. This should be a moment of joy, of having a positive attitude and of being spontaneous, and not concerned by what the other might think if you behave one way or the other.

Use the hands to show your partner your warmth. Follow with your fingers or forefinger the shape of his/her body and face. Thrill them and let your partner feel that, if you do it, it's because you like it and you'd like to feel the same things. You can insist in some particular places in order to discover where your partner finds pleasure, but without pretending a response, which will come anyway.

Limit yourself to give, without impatience and the rush to switch to the next move. Human beings love caresses and the physical contact. Caresses, at the subconscious level, recall the love of the mother over the infant, the contact with the warmth of her body. For some persons, the time spent for the preliminaries is therefore the happiest, the most intense. Not only for women, but also for men who can most of the times finally relax in the arms of their loved one, thanks to her caresses and massage. Pinches can also stimulate, if they are not painful, but only provocative. As it is the case of drawing the body shape with the nails, leaving slight red streaks, which are not painful but show a mute desire of possession. .

It is important to continue to thrill and caress avoiding a sudden stop and interrumption of the spell the partner is living. Tickling a particularly erogenous zone can be the prelude for a more intense intimacy, but also a way to better make your partner participate. It is important to know when to cease with this tickling, i.e. when it's not too late, especially for the male!

An ancient oriental technique is to massage and thrill the erogenous zones of the male or female, and then stop this and do it somewhere else right before the orgasm, and therefore repeat all this several times, thus turning your partner on and waiting, which can be very stimulating if the pleasure doesn't come too late. The repeatedly frustrated desire can finally make your partner impatient, making him/her nervous and ruining the orgasm in the end. Besides hands, you can caress with the mouth, by moving the lips anywhere your fingers would move on your partner's body. It's obvious this offers pleasure for both lovers. Together with the mouth you can lick parts of his/her body with your tongue, thus using the sense of taste, inevitably linked to the smell.

As it is the case in the animal world, the smell has a great erotic power; you can fall in love with the natural perfume of your partner's body, unique for any male or female.

When kissing, the taste and smell act together and therefore it is possible to curiously taste, lick and sniff your lover, as infants do when they take to their mouth an unknown object due tro the instinct and desire to discover.

There are various ways to caress with the mouth:

• You can limit it to thrilling the partner's skin, as you'd do it with the hands, and at least whisper tender and passionate words, as the warmth of the breath can "caress" the epidermis;
• Or you can use the tongue for tickling the most sensitive parts, in order to arouse those areas as you'd do for the genitals; they have the power to inflame the body, and even bring it to the brink of the orgasm;
• You can also bite, if within reasonable limits, i.e not painful. Some persons prefer bites in less delicate areas, such as thighs, buttocks and arms; others instead prefer the opposite: gentle bites of the nipples, lips and inner side of the thighs, which thrill and stimulate the body;
• It can prove very pleasant licking with affection many areas of the body and even the face. It's a tender gesture and expresses the desire of taking care and protect the loved one;
• With the mouth you can also suck, and this is an instinctive gesture for both males and females, recalling the moments of the breast feeding. Almost all males find very tender and arousing sucking the breast of their lover, especially that the nipples are one of the most sensitive areas for a female. Instead, females, who should know that sucking their lover's nipples is disturbing, should take care of their genitals, thus obtaining the same sensation of a deep intimacy.

You can also caress with other parts of your body, such as hair, nose, head, breasts. Even holding in the arms for more seconds can be considered a caress. Or staying in bed with the legs and arms around the other one, especially after the intercourse, when it's important to keep the profound and intimate contact.

On the other hand, the sudden break of the contact caused generally by the fatigue and sleep, results sometimes in depressions, even if not immediately shown, especially for the female, and risks compromising the effect of all the warmth and tenderness that may have been present before. And if the need for sleep, especially in the evening, can be understood, it doesn't make sense the lack of words that usually accompanies it. Sometimes, several words may be sufficient to communicate to the partner that the need for sleep is not a lack of love but a necessity in that moment, and assure your partner of your best feelings.

The erogenous zones

If you admit that erogenous zones are all those parts of the body, particularly sensitive to sensual caresses, it's natural to state that the whole epidermis can be defined as erogenous.

It cannot be defined an area as more erogenous than others, except for the ones common to anyone, such as the breasts or genitals.

Females appreciate very much the caresses over the breasts, and especially the stimulation of the nipples. Very sensitive are also the neck, especially on the sides and backhead, and the skin of the head, covered by hair. Fortunately, the female's hair has always been admired by males, who find pleasure in caressing it. The inner side of the thighs and the genitals are clearly erogenous zones of both males and females. For women, the nerves' terminals are concentrated in the clitoris which, if stimulated, turns more into red and becomes more rigid. Its stimulation leads, for many women, to a type of orgasm much more intense than the vaginal one.

Males, who often like more the caresses over the genitals, have a particularly sensitive part, that many times is underestimated or unknown by females. It's the area from the perineum up to the anus, where the erectile parts of the penis reside. In the same way, some females don't know that, although a male's chest is very sensitive, being able to be thrilled with her hair or nipples, it is not always arousing for males the stimulation of their nipples (very efficient for females, instead). It seems that about 50% of males are annoyed by this type of touch and prefer instead caresses over the neck, belly and back.

The ear is also very erogenous for both females and males, and therefore is object for playing with it either with the tongue or with the teeth (when gently biting it). Other erogenous zones are those where the blood is closer to the surface and thus makes the skin warmer and more sensitive. For example, at the wrist, back side of the knee and ankles.

Instead, the massage of the feet, sole and toes has the power to relax the whole body and the nerves, and to calm.

Naturally, both males and females love the caresses over the buttocks, and sometimes even bites, as an expression of a possession instinct of their lover.

Another particular gesture that thrills the partner's body is to draw the whole back, from the backhead to the anus, with the forefinger, pressing somehow firmly the spine. The softness of the female's hips has always attracted the male's caresses, but women can also find attractive to thrill with the fingers the solidity of the male's belly, especially that while aroused, the male has a contraction of the muscles in that region. Even the caress of a shoulder with a concave hand is a way to feel the softness of the female's body or the virility of a male. In both cases, either males or females can direct their companion's hands towards the areas they feel more desirable to be caressed, or whispering this to him/her, and this should make the other one excited about what they are about to discover in their partner's sexual behavior.

The importance of massage

The massage is a way to thrill, touch and communicate, it's an opportunity to recover the pleasure of the sensitiveness and touch, and also for regaining the lost intimacy within a couple. The erotic massage is a way to lead the couple to the essence of sensuality, of a more profound contact, often confuse and cancelled by the simple focus on genitals.

Such massage is not reserved only for "professionals" but for all those who prove a considerable desire of love for their own body and those of the others, especially for the partner's. The massage is able to generate harmony and warmth.

The breath control is very important for an efective relaxing. It is advised that the person giving massage use the nose for breathing inorder to accumulate energy and pay attention to any reaction of the partner's body, while the person receiving the massage should use the mouth for breathing for a total abandon. Prior to starting the massage, it is advised to rub your hands to have them warm, and afterwards place one of them on the partner's belly, as if you were listening the inside vibrations and sighs. In fact, this serves to give calm and peace, and therefore slow down the breath and relax the muscles and nerves.

Afterwards, the massage should be performed on any part of the body, being guided by the instinct: it's important to have in view all parts, even the face and feet. Especially the feet massage has influence over other parts of the body, being well-known in therapeutical sessions, as some people find stimulating the body health the barefoot walk on a natural terrain, on grass or stones on a river shore. Instead, the face massage is used to create an intimacy and trust between the two partners, and even to stimulate the senses due to the meridians of energy that cross the head and face, according to the Japanese theories.

It's no doubt about the fact that massage has no side effects, especially when it's performed with the sole intent of creating an ideal condition for calm and relaxing, for the benefit of both lovers.

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